Sitting across from me, you are talking like a grownup. You are making references to philosophers and authors I’ve never even heard of. Wearing that gray suit, shaving your face, emancipating yourself from your parents, referring to them as if they’re just your landlords- I could’ve forgiven you for those. Real easy. All you had to do was catch me when I ran into you. This is truly, truly the worst betrayal I’ve ever known. Sitting across from me, pompous, pretentious. What, trying to diagnose me? Do you even remember who I am? Do you know who it is you’re talking to? Do you remember who we were when we liked each other. Look, can we just, for a second, go back to that? Can we cut the crap, go back to that?
You wore white, beat up Chucks. Tube socks. Zebra print shorts and a lemon yellow windbreaker. You walked up to the punkest girl in the room and told her she was incredibly . . . pretty. Christ, you were already doing a thing with your eyes. You knew exactly what you were doing, but why were you dressed that way? I hoped to God you weren’t actually queer. You introduced yourself as a friend of a friend, the band’s tambourinist, asked if that was even a word.
During the course of three hours, we learned all there is to learn about a person in the intimacy of a large party only beginning to die down well past our parents’ bedtime. We talked about how you scraped up your knees: rollerblading at a skate park last week. We complained about our friends, and about our parents, and listed all the places we wanted to run away to. If we had the means, if we had the guts. Of course we discussed books, and movies, and music, and fell half in love from shared interests alone.
How did we get from there to here?
You have had exactly one semester of university, and here you are, completely changed. I don’t approve at all. Just in case you were wondering where we stand now. Just in case my approval means anything at all to you. Just in case you were thinking of me when you had tea (TEA?) with the Psych major. Just in case you were wondering how you look in that suit.